- If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
- If you don’t, you are not a man
- If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
- If you don’t, you are good for nothing
- If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
- If you don’t, you are not understanding
- If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
- If you don’t, she accuses you of double-crossing
- If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
- If you don’t, you are a dull boy
- If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
- If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
- If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
- If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
- If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
- If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
- If you visit another man, you’re not putting in “quality time”
- If she is visited by another woman, “oh it’s natural, we are girls”
- If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
- If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
- If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
- If you do, she thinks it’s just one of men’s tactics for seduction
- If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
- If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
- If you talk, she wants you to listen
- If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short:

- So simple, yet so complex
- So weak, yet so powerful
- So confusing, yet so desirable
- So damning, yet so wonderful…